Behind Door Number
by VikingsDoItBetter
Summary: What secrets are behind closed doors?
1. 1

Title: Behind Door Number

Author: AlexCabotIsQueen

Summary: What secrets are behind closed doors. Nicole POV

A/N: I really like the Nicole character. You just have to be able to suspend reality for a bit, folks...

I've watched him walk home thousands of times before. Does everything in the same way; walks the same path; everyday. I wonder why? Why is Bobby so stuck in routines? Is it because he strives for some sense of normal in his life? Or is he that terribly predictable?

Well, you'd think in his line of work he would know better than to take exactly the same route. Everyday. Sometimes its a fast walk; in a vain attempt to avoid the world around him.

Then, there are other times he paces himself. To take in the small pleasures. Like people watching; a hobby we both share. But the trick that one is, don't let on. You can't be seen watching or else the fun is over.

But Bobby watching. By far my favorite past time. Of course, I have to take extreme measures not to be caught. Lord only knows what would happen if he found out I was watching him. I'm almost certain he would try and arrest me. For whatever reason he could think of. After all, New York does have a stalking statute.

But that's neither here nor there...

Walking behind him is a rare pleasure. I can just barely smell him; whatever cologne he wears. Maybe it's just faded throughout the day. Or maybe it's just subtle. Either way, it's a wonderful smell. That's just him. Watching him move in and out of the sea of people. His movement is amazing; very fluid for a man of his size. Must be difficult being so tall.

I usually cross the street when he nears his building; off to lurk in the shadows. He keeps his keys in his left pocket; probably the left-handedness. And if there is a lady that lives in the building, he will always hold the door open for her. Such a gentleman.

Anyhow, I wait anxiously until he gets to his apartment. I watch him turn on the light. And several times a week, he sits in his window sill with a good book and reads. Before he's finished, he always looks up at the stars and sighs. Then he goes to bed.

Almost depressing isn't it? Robert Goren...this gorgeous, brilliant, wonderful man...so sad and alone. Makes me wonder what he hides behind those walls. What secrets he keeps up there...

So...today...I decided to add trespassing to my impressive resume...

It wasn't hard to get the tools that I'd need...I mean, I do have some connections. I carefully pick the lock and open the door to his inner sanctum.

Wow...it's immaculate. I've never seen a bachelor pad this neat and tidy.

And where do I start on the books. There must be hundreds…..possibly thousands. Most of them classics no doubt. But I'm sure there are some modern treasures in here.

Everything in it's place and a place for everything. Just about what I thought……

Most people have pictures of family...friends...ex-lovers. Not Bobby. Only artwork. Beautiful pieces. And each one has it's purpose no doubt. Mail on his counter...just some bills, and something hand written.

Hmm, maybe...oh, it's from his mother. Estelle...Didn't picture that. I shouldn't open it. Wonder what dear old mum has to say. Probably a good reason why he hasn't opened it.

Kitchen...What does the master of the dark criminal mind eat for breakfast, hm? Skim milk...How vile. At least he tries to watch his girlish figure. Lots of odd things. Oh, good Lord...what is that smell?

It's that. I'll just throw that out. I'm doing him a favor.

Now...where is that...Here we are. Vodka, of course. Just one bottle. Well, the man has some restraint. Always chilled.

No dishes in the sink. Either he doesn't eat here or he always does his them before he leaves.

What the bloody hell? A cat? He has a cat...my, isn't that a surprise? Hello there. And even a name tag...Puppy? His cat's name is Puppy. Well, then. It's not mine to reason why...

Ah, the window sill. Where he spends many lonely nights. Oh, stereo...what does his listen to?

Jazz. Soothing jazz. It's also very. Sexy. I like it. I wonder...a file? He left a file from work...It's. Me. He has my file in his home. Complete with pictures...and a tape. Wonder what's on that?

Me again. Does he listen to my voice as he reads his books? Am I the reason he sighs before he drifts off to sleep...

His bedroom. Always wanted to be in here. Flannel sheets? Must be terribly cold in here...yet another book on the night stand. What's this? One picture...this must be from when he was very young. His mother and father...him and his brother. At least they looked happy.

Bet my family pictures looked like that. Fake smiles to mask the pain.

Time to check the wardrobe. Everything in the closet. What of person hangs up jeans? Slacks I can see...but...well, this is a nice shirt. I bet this little black tee shirt fits him just right. Would love to see it on him.

But the suits...plenty of those. I love this shirt...right here. Dark blue. And it looks fantastic on him...wonder how it would look on me...

Into the washroom. It smells like Bobby...oh, there's that cologne...Hugo Boss...I'll remember that. All this hard work; makes a girl work up quite a sweat. I need a shower.

Very hot water...at least he can enjoy that simple pleasure. To think he stands here...Naked. Too bad I forgot supplies for myself...I'll have to use his. These things...It's him. These fabulous aromas. That's the subtle scent. And the shampoo even smells just perfect. At least I know what his hair smells like now...

Well...I feel refreshed. And I even have something to change into...

This very shirt. Been right on his skin. Right there when he was questioning me. His sweat soaking into it. Hoping, praying...that I would tell him everything. That guilt would eat me alive.

Wasn't the first time he was wrong about me.

His bed...it is rather soft. And this blanket so warm...I wonder if he's had a few stray thoughts about me lost into this blanket. Or how often he's awoke in a cold sweat after hearing my voice in his head.

That click in my ear...it must be...

"Nicole..."

"Well, hello Bobby...hope you didn't mind..I borrowed your shirt."

"How...why?"

"Well, love...why don't you tell me?"


	2. Bobby POV

How and why indeed...

Makes me wish I was more creative about my routes home. I knew someone has been following me. I should have known of all people it would have been her. Damn, I'll have to move now...and it's hell finding an apartment in New York let me tell ya.

And as much as I've always wanted an attractive woman wearing nothing but a dress shirt in my bed...Nicole isn't what I planned...

Criminally insane, diabolical, evil Nicole. Serial killer...with really great legs.

"What are you doing here Nicole?"

"Nothing, darling. Just relaxing."

"In my bed?"

"Somewhere I always wanted to rest my bones."

I guess the gun is just so I can stay out of her clutches. I'm still haunted by the touch of her skin and mine. I can't erase it. And yet, I want more of it. But I know, no good could come from it. She's like a poison. But probably the sweetest poison ever made.

Why? Why is she here? She could have just broken in, looked around, and left. I wouldn't have been any the wiser. Why risk getting caught...Well, if it's one thing that I've learned about Nicole it's that she doesn't let you catch her unless she wants you to.

She didn't even move anything. At least from what I can tell. Except the shirt...and, it does look. Very nice.

Stop that! It's Nicole we're talking about!

"What's the matter love? Don't like the shirt...I can take it off..."

"No. Don't. Just. Stay right there. And hands where I can see them."

"Alright. Fine. But in my defense...where would I hide a weapon?"

As she slowly places her hands in front of her, I wonder. Where would she hide a weapon...or do I even want to know. I shudder to think...

"Bobby...I can't think with that thing pointed at me...Oh, I meant the gun."

I can feel the heat rush to my face. I know she saw that; as her laugh tells. She'll never talk if I don't at least show some good faith.

I never take my eyes off of her...I carefully unload my gun. I place the empty gun on my night stand and then lock up the bullets.

"Better?"

"Much...now, are you going to sit down?"

"With you? Now I know...you've lost it."

"Don't be a child. Come, sit here. I don't bite. Unless you'd like me to."

I really want to know what her game is. So, I oblige her. I take a seat right beside her. Never breaking eye contact.

I can see the enjoyment reflected in hers. She wanted to be this close to me; wanted me in my own home. To gain an even stronger hold on me. Not that I think that's even possible. She's almost in every part of me. Not that I can deny it.

"What do you want from me Nicole?"

"A little tit for tat, love. Isn't that all we've ever done?"

She's right. And perhaps that's what keeps bringing me back to her. I feel like I'm the only person on Earth that knows the true Nicole Wallace. And still, I'm not afraid of what I see. As startling as that all seems.

I want to not believe I care for her. But I know I do. I'm almost afraid what she'll ask me. What that voice, dripping with pure evil and sugar, will ask.

_Do you want me? Do you need me? Are we ever going to be more than adversaries? Perhaps an evening romp between the sheets..._GAH!

I feel her warm hands on my face. I want to just run from it. But. I can't. I'm hypnotized by her touch.

"Nicole..."

"Sssshhh, love. I just want to feel your skin on mine. That one touch. Its in me. I couldn't hide from it. I just kept running. Getting any touch I could...but it wasn't what I yearned for. And after this last encounter, after you yet again ruined my best laid plans..."

"You were going to..."

"Save Gwen,Bobby. That was always the plan."

You know, with her hands on my throat, I'm not going to argue. I know she has the power to kill me, if she really wanted. So, I'll play along. For my own morbid curiosity.

Feeling her hands slide down to my arms, I'm almost grateful.

"Now, where was I. Oh yes. Plans. You were never in my plan Bobby. I never encountered anyone like you. Someone I can conquer. Someone that is exactly like me..."

"I. I am _not_ like you Nicole."

"Come now, you know you are...without that badge and gun...who are you?"

"Who are you? You've got no one Nicole. Everyone that you've ever loved, you've distroyed. They all end up dead. You are a killer. A cold, heartless killer."

"You're wrong Bobby. I've got you."

"You most certainly do not. Have me."

Maybe that's what she wanted. Just to mind fuck me here. So I'll never again rest in my own bed without thinking of her. What she doesn't know is...I already think of her when I'm trying to sleep.

"You kill everyone that you've ever loved to keep them from turning on you. Just so you won't have to endure that pain."

I can see the defeat. I got her. This time.

" Oh Bobby, I love you, and I most certainly would never kill you. How about that? I just said..."

Did she just? She did. Nicole...Loves me. Somehow I'm not surprised.

"That you love me. Well, stranger things have happened. When did you know?"

She laughs. "From the moment we met."

"I see."

"So, it's your turn love...what about you? Do you love me?"

I hesitate. If I say no, then she'll know it's a lie. If anyone could know that, it would be her.

What do I say? What good could it do...her hands again, on my thigh. Does she know I've had dreams about this very moment...has she?

"It's taken me quite awhile to admit it. But...Nicole...what good will this do?"

"It'll do me some good. Out with it."

"I love you Nicole. And if things where different...if I could have met you before any of this. Before you'd done all these terrible things. I would have. We could have."

The silence from this revelation is deafening. We just sit and take in the words that still hang in the air.

I wish I could have changed her. Made her believe that not every man is here to hurt her. I would have taken care of her broken heart. Given her everything I had, just to make her smile. I would never have been afraid of what darkness haunts her deepest sleep. If anyone could have saved Nicole from drowning in her own despair, it's me.

And if anyone knows anything at all about inner demons, it's me. Childhood wasn't exactly pleasant on this continent either.

As we sit here, my mind suddenly is rushed with thoughts of the two of us. Together. With a family. Talking walks, watching them play...it's depressing. Heartbreaking. Tragic.

"God has a cruel sense of humor. Doesn't he?"

"Irony, Nicole. This is irony."

She nods. And for only the second time since I've known her, I see tears sliding down her cheeks. And both times, I've been the source of the tears. It pains me to see it. I don't like making women cry; seeing them cry. It...it just rips the heart out of my chest.

She tries to control the pain. The hurt we both share in knowing. That we could never be. But, it gets the better of her. She puts her head down and sobs.

I put my arms around her and pull her into me. If for nothing else, so she can be comforted while she's in pain. She still fights it a little; another sure sign that this is something foreign to her...

"Bobby...do you know. That, uh, no one's ever held me while I cried before..."

"You're. Welcome."

She says nothing. I'll take that as thanks enough. In this moment, Nicole Wallace is human. All that pain she's held in for so long; it's like she's letting go of it. Like she wants to feel something other than that for once.

As she gazes up at me, nothing but adoration in her eyes, I see that innocent girl she once was. The world open to her. Long before her father destroyed it.

She leans in and whispers...

"_What now?"_

I wonder myself...


	3. The Lady Or

I wish this was I book I was reading. With an ending; that's written in black and white. But now, it's up to me.

On the one hand, I could just let her go. Let her slither back out into the darkness. Waiting for her to come back into my life. Or I could, arrest her...breaking and entering. Still a crime. She'd be behind bars for the evening at least. And at least then, I would know where she is.

Always the hard choices.

Which one. This choice. Would be easier if I didn't feel her lips against my neck. I'm half expecting her to bite me and try to drain the life out of me. Little does she know, she's already done that for the most part.

"Don't."

"What Bobby? Stop?"

I'm. I'm speechless. "Well. Not what I was going to say."

"Then...tell me what you'd like me to do."

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

And that part of my brain that's all male has now taken over. I don't want to. But...I feel myself press my lips against hers. Remember when I said she was the sweetest poison. I was right.

It's like I've been waiting for this moment ever since I met her. Even now, as I push her back and run my fingers over every curve...I want to stop. But. I just. I can't. I just can't stop myself from kissing her.

Perhaps this is what she wanted all along, for me to realize that this thing between us, it's love. As twisted and sick as that sounds, Nicole and I. Forever bound by this emotion. Stuck in this tango of love and hate; desire and despair. No hope of either of us ending the dance. I believe that one of us would have to die for that to actually happened.

As I take a moment to come up for air, I can finally pull myself away. And I'm still plagued. What to do with her?

"Something wrong love?"

"Everything. Everything is wrong. You...Me. Never...We can't."

"Sure we can. Do you need a map...or I'm sure I could instruct you in the proper..."

"Nicole. Stop it!...Just find your clothes." Never thought I'd say that to her...

She looks...well, pissed off and yet, calm all at the same time. There's that sly grin that usually makes me very nervous, "As you wish love."

I watch her saunter to my bathroom. She offers that assured look before she shuts the door.

I'd better think of something and soon...wait, my own words come back to me.

"_Nicole wouldn't dangle herself in front of me unless she felt completely safe."_

That's it. She came her...Full well knowing that I would catch her. And so sure that I would just let her go. So she can win. Well, we'll just see about that. But. Now the fun is...not letting on.

"Better?"

"Yes. Thank you. Uh. Let me see you out."

She looks relieved, "You're just going to let me go? No questions...no wondering."

"Nope."

"Bobby...come now. I know you better than that."

Lay on the charm thick. Or else, "Well, just one more kiss..."

I wrap my arms around her and kiss her just as passionately as I did the first time. Just long enough to throw her off balance. Thank God she pulled away.

"Anything else?" That smile, really starting to piss me off.

"A question. Have you ever read a short story called _The Lady or The Tiger_?"

"The one with no ending. Where you decide."

"Yes...well, which did you pick?"

"To be honest, I always thought it would be his lady. I'm sure you think the same thing."

She was so close to me, she didn't even notice me reach in my pocket for my handcuffs. I smile and push her back towards a chair. She sits in some subconscious response to my body language. I lean in and whisper in her ear...

"_Sometimes. I surprise even you."_

She tries to stand back up. "You bastard. Un-cuff me."

"I don't think so."

"What now, Detective?"

"Oh, now I'm back to Detective. I'm hurt. Nicole."

"You said you were going to let me go!"

"I lied. Deal with it."

I call for the local precinct to come and pick her up for the b and e. I wonder if they heard all of it with her screaming like an idiot in the background. All of a sudden, I have this flash of having to explain this to Eames in the morning. I'll never live it down...

"But didn't it mean anything? You told me you loved me...I know you weren't lying about that."

"You're right. I do have these feelings for you Nicole. But your not exactly..."

"Your type?"

"No. That's the trouble. You are my type. And if you weren't a complete psychopath, I would continue on with you. But, it's just not in the cards."

"Bobby, I know you. I know you felt the fire between us when we kissed. Don't deny it."

"Yes. I did. And now I'll have to slaughter a pig and possibly sacrifice a virgin to get it out of my mind."

"Wow. That's a bit extreme."

"Extreme? You want to preach to me about extreme? You stalked me; broke into my apartment; used my shower; and wore one of my shirts. Just to try and gain some advantage over me. I must admit. You get points for creativity."

"Thank you. Always thought of myself as an original."

"Well. You don't have to be orignial to kill seventeen people. And stalk a detetive. List keeps getting longer and longer Nicole..."

"This is ludicrous. You know I'll be back out on the streets in an hour."

"No. You won't. See, you don't have all that money to get you an intelligent lawyer. As a matter of fact, I'm almost certain that we can find you the dumbest one on the city payroll. And you'll sit in jail until morning. And believe me, these charges. Will stick."

"We'll see. Are these handcuffs really nessecary?"

"For my protection."

"Afraid of me are you? Afraid that one more touch will make you change your mind?"

"Me. Afraid of you. If you weren't serious, I'd laugh. Nicole. You just sound desperate. Come on. You allowed yourself to get caught; convinced that you could charm me into letting you go, and you were wrong. I'll admit...you don't make mistakes often."

Ahh, a knock. I open the door and show the officers to the prisoner. They make sure and give me back my cuffs. She looks hurt.

"Aren't you going to take me in Detective?"

"No. I'll get my statement to them. We have officially twenty four hours to arraign you. With that being said, good night Nicole. Sweet dreams."

"This wasn't a mistake Bobby."

I watch them escort her out and close the door behind them. I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. But this place. She'll haunt it. I'm positive whenever she can walk away from this, so won't come back. She already knows she owns this place.

But I can always try and sleep. I walk back to my empty bedroom. After I change I realize that my blue shirt is still on the bathroom floor...I entertain the thought of burning it.

If I didn't like that one, it wouldn't be a problem. But I will just have to endure it. It looks good on me. And fantastic on her...have to stop doing that.

I crawl in between the sheets and close my eyes...I can still feel her hands against my face. Feel her lips pressed on mine. Then, my mind drifts to thoughts of her...taking a shower...

OKAY! I give up...I have to get out of here...where is that damn phone...

"Eames...yeah, it's me...Look, this is going to sound strange but. Can I come over...I'll explain when I get there...Okay, thanks."

Get dressed. And prepare for the eventual speech. Oh well, at least I'll be able to sleep.


	4. Partners

Bobby POV

I can't believe this. I can't sleep because she was there. Because I kissed her...because she wanted this to happened. And now, she's an even bigger part of me...

To top it all off, I have to explain it to Eames. I still don't know what to say...But I need to talk to her about it. She always has a great opinion about everything. Plus, she's usually right. And I'm really glad she's letting me come over...Hopefully this will help.

Lucky for me it's only a few blocks, so this walk over helps to clear my head. It's a little cold, but it's sobering. I need it. It still amazes me the amount of people out and about at an given time in this city. Perhaps that's why it was so easy to be followed...Stalked. But I'll get to that...

As I stand on the door step to Eames' building, I can feel this overwhelming feeling of guilt. Almost like I feel bad for telling her about this. Usually I don't kiss and tell, but this...Is an exception to that rule.

After she buzzes me in, I climb the stairs to her apartment. I think about. About all those private moments we've had. Things that she wouldn't want anyone in the department to know about. Like her first days home after she gave birth. The tears she cried over it. The tears she let me see. She's a strong woman, but even strong women feel pain. I'm grateful she trusts me enough to keep her secrets...

And I trust she'll extend me the same courtesy...

She opens the door and offers a sarcastic smile as I sit down on her couch.

"What's up...You lose a sock or something.."

Her sense of humor, well timed, "Actually. It's worse...You'd. Uh, sit."

"Must be serious. Well, we both need some rest. So, out with it."

"It's. I don't know how to say it."

"Bobby, just say it."

She looks so worried. I think she knows that if I'm here then it must be terrible. She's probably already assumed the worst.

"When I came home tonight...Nicole. She was. She broke into my apartment."

"Bobby..."

"No. That's. That's not all...I found her on my bed. Wearing...One of my shirts. Nothing else."

"Obsess much."

"I asked her. What she wanted. Why she was there. You won't believe it..."

"I swore I could smell moonbeams...try me."

"Nicole. Said that...That she loved me."

"You do have a way with the psycho wench..."

"That's the thing, Alex, " Did I just call her Alex, "I. I love her too. Not because I want to love her. I just. Do. It's there and that's it."

"That's not all, is it?"

"No. And I don't appreciate being interrogated."

"Sorry. Habit."

"Didn't mean. To, uh, snap at you. It's just hard..." Breathe, just breathe. She'll just give you that look that says I'm disappointed in you and you'll have to live with it.

"Then I'll just listen. I won't ask a thing."

"I. We...I kissed her. I pressed my body against hers and ran my fingers over every curve of her body," And it was wonderful. Her kiss is electric...It made me feel alive.

Eames stays quiet. She really just wants to listen. I know she can see how disturbed I am over it.

"I couldn't help myself. She. She's a beautiful woman and. And completely my type. But, she's. Criminally insane," I press my palms against my eyes, "What is wrong with me...Have I lost my mind..."

Eames sits down beside me and puts her arm around my shoulder, "Keep going...I'm here for you okay..."

"It's like I wasn't myself. Then, I came back and. And pushed her away. I told her it was wrong...That it. We could never be together. I told her to get dressed and leave. And, without question she did what I asked."

"You just let her go?"

"Uh, well. I asked her about a story. One with no ending. Where you get to decide for yourself. And she told me what she would have picked...so sure that I was on the same page as she was. I leaned into her...She. Probably thought I was going to kiss her again...I hand cuffed her to a chair."

"You didn't...leave her there did you..."

"Absolutely not. I called and had her arrested for a b and e."

"That's my boy."

"Well. I know you want to say something here..."

She sighs, "Bobby. I know the hold Nicole has on you. I know she knows it too. She was so sure that she would walk away from you. No consequences. But you proved her wrong. You proved to her that her hold, is only in her mind."

"Are you. Mad at me..."

"For what? Kissing her...Just a little creeped out. You should just drink mouth wash."

She can always make me laugh. She's. A good friend. "Probably a good idea."

"Why does she get to you so much anyway? No one knows criminals better than you; you know their minds...So, why Bobby...What makes her so special?"

"It's like. I know her, intimately. Without having anything physical between us; besides. One touch. I have some idea the life she's had to endure. How her childhood effected her adulthood. If life could have been different...I would have loved her anyway. Given her everything..."

"But that doesn't matter. You love her, so what? She's never going to change Bobby. She will always hurt people. But what she's done to you. She's always going to be a part of you. You identify with her. You can't help be connected. And, you're still a man. A beautiful woman presents herself to you...So, you gave in a little. No big deal."

"But I wanted more, Alex," I did it again, "I wanted to know her. On a. Physical level. I want to tell myself that being with her that way would get her out of my mind, but I know better. It would have made it worse..."

"Like every guy in the world that passes it up, you're sorry. Bobby, this is Nicole we're talking about!"

"I know. This is. A weird conversation."

"I'll second that. You talking about anything sexual is weird."

"How so?"

"I don't know Bobby...It just is."

"Why? You said it yourself. I just a guy."

"I don't picture you that way alright. You don't strike me as the type to bed down with every girl you've ever dated. Kissed. Met."

"You're right about that."

"Here's the thing. Nicole was baiting you. She was probably in hopes you'd throw her down on your bed and ravage her. Then she'd get what she came for and would haunt you forever."

"Okay. We've crossed from weird to..."

"Disgusting. I need a shower after that thought."

"You really think she came to me for that?"

"Yeah. I can see the way she looks at you. It actually surprises me that she hasn't tried it before. You can't tell me you don't see that."

"Would you believe me if I told you no?"

"I'd say you were a bad liar."

I nod in agreement. But, then again. She's right.

"I wasn't kidding about that shower. I really need it...And you. You're staying here tonight. I know you won't sleep if you go back to your place. And I can't have you walking around like a zombie all day tomorrow."

"No choice. Then, I'll stay."

"Good. Listen, Bobby...I'm glad you came to me. You're secrets safe with me."

"I'm glad. Glad I talked to you, Alex," It feels right, Alex, "It. Helped. Thank you."

"That's what partners are for."

She smiles and disappears into her bathroom.

Alex. Still strange to call her that...I wonder what she thinks about it.


End file.
